15Aug/071
Economy Class Ettiquette – 5 ways to annoy everyone on your flight
I just flew to Houston for the weekend. On my flight, it occurred to me that too few people know how to behave on an airplane. Here are the top tips on how to annoy the people on the plane around you.
- Use the “seat pocket in front of you”… constantly. Send morse code to the person in front via their lower back. Try this one “.. — / .- -. / .. -.. .. — -” (morse code converter)
- Play Risk. Expand your territory outward from seat 22B. The armrest is merely a guide to where your space ends and your neighbor’s begins. Don’t stop growing your turf until you feel the cold hard steel of 22C’s seatbelt. Remember, it’s your obligation to use a laptop when in the middle seat.
- Use the built in sound on your laptop to watch a movie. That plane is loud, so turn it up. Wait till you see the jealousy on everyone’s face when you’re watching Vin Diesel’s latest flick.
- Get up using all available seats in front of you. Be oblivious to the fact that when you do it jolts the people in front. When they turn to see what’s going on, scowl at them for being nosy. Don’t forget to do the same when sitting down!
- Always drink coffee and/or alcohol before and during your trip (only for window seats).Going to the bathroom is never more fun when you make 2 other people move for you. For maximum pleasure, ask them to get up when the cart has just passed. This way you need to make the flight attendants move too.
